A couple of funnies

I was reading BookWorm a while back, and she posted these.  I lost a mouthful of coffee on these gems!  They were just too good not to share.  Thanks BookWorm!  🙂

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Mike Volpe, at The Provocateur (he’s a fellow Watcher’s Council member), sent this one:

Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, ‘I need to get up and get a coke.’ Don’t get up,’ said the Marine, ‘I’m in the aisle seat, ‘I’ll get it for you.’  As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good, I’d really like one, too.’  Again, the Marine went to fetch it.  While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes & knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over & asked his Arab neighbors,

‘Why does it have to be this way?

‘How long must this go on?

‘This fighting between our nations?

‘This hatred?

‘This animosity?

‘This spitting in shoes? ‘

and pissing in cokes?’

THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES

Wolf Howling, another Council member, responded with one of his own:

Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.

Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint, and we’re Jewish,’ she asks, ‘Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

Melissa’s father thinks a bit, then says: ‘No, I don’t think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?’

‘Osama Bin Laden,’ she says. Her fathers eyes grow wide.

‘Why Osama Bin Laden?’ her father asks in shock.

‘Well,’ she says, ‘I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.

And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot.
And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.’

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride.. ‘Melissa, that’s the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.’

‘I know, ‘ Melissa says, ‘and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker.’

You may now return to your regularly scheduled coffee break.

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Posted on April 23, 2010, in Humor and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on A couple of funnies.

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